Hauntings of Thoughts

Over the years I have pondered on the topic of Faith over the years and this is one of those occasions. But this is not a time where I doubt my Faith and the basis of such. But rather such a time where my over active mind continues it’s path of teaching and retracing such grounds of Faith.
As some folks who know such verses as the following will know And for others the Apostle John wrote quiet a lot on this. One such verse is
John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.”

I always start with the same thoughts. With my thinking being rather simplistic in nature at Times. “For God so loved the World….. ” Is it the actual world? Our is the term world a form of metaphor for something else? Such is the path my thought begins to work…. what if for a moment that the World in this case is the people that exist in the world? Then that would mean you and I… Therefore the following words “That whoever believes in him should not perish but have everlasting life” would take on a more understandable phrase… “Whoever” being just as it states “in him” being Gods son. That makes my train of thought straight in this case.

My Faith however goes much deeper than those words. And I came too question my Faith on a few occasions however. One such was on the death of my youngest child. I had our should I say thought I had Faith our belief that God would heal my son , even when doctors had given the worst diagnosis each time. At the time of my son (Darren’s) death I believed in such healing up until we received that final diagnosis. That his battle on earth was close to an end.

To cut some corners on this my son died and I questioned my Faith our the strength of my Faith. I had such questions like did my lack of Faith have a part to play? Our was my belief unfounded?

I have since that occasion come to understand where my Faith is, was and always will be at. It is one such occasion that my continuously tracing and retracing issues to find faults etc in my own self. Sadly it is a history off my mindset over the years. This is not to say that I wrote this to gain some reactions. But for a 2 fold reason. (A) To aid myself in combating negative thoughts, mindset and irrelevant thoughts that continue to haunt my time. And (b) in a hope that somewhere down the road of life, someone else would find as little solace that some one like myself dealt with such issues.

I also battle too keep thoughts on more worth while areas , to become more proactive as it were. But most men who battle such mental issues, would do so in a more silent or secret method.. Time after time men battle such mental health issues alone, unable to escape the prison that they find themselves in. We need to know that we are never alone in such thoughts. We can over come such moments when we realise that we are not alone and that we can share or talk with someone. Even writing such issues down may be of help.

Such are the thoughts of my Thoughts of the past. As always, please excuse any errors in typing that my occur in my postings. Stay safe people and know that God does love you and that there is always someone who cares enough to listen.

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